Sequiturs of the Non Variety

The Pillow Book is a book of observations recorded by Sei Shonagon during the late 900s and early 1000s in Japan during her time as court lady to Empress Sadako. In it she included lists of all kinds, personal thoughts, interesting events in court, poetry and some opinions on her contemporaries. While it serves as a fascinating account of that period in medieval Japan, it interests me more as a sort of mental clearing house, ridding the mind of extraneous bits of information. In modern parlance, akin to Dumbledore placing his memories in the pensieve in order to make room for current memories.

These random posts will serve to clear out the thoughts in my head. It will indeed be random and I do not claim that there will be a unifying theme to any of what is written.

Lyrics that have been haunting me of late:

"Architecture students are like virgins
with an itch they cannot scratch.
Never build a building till you're 50,
what kind of life is that?"

Pavement, "The Hexx"

"And this is not my face
and this is not my life
and there is not a single thing here
I can recognize
this is all a dream
and none of you are real
I'll give anything
I'll give anything"

Nine Inch Nails, "Head Down"

"One sin leads to another one
Oh, the harder I try
I can never, never, never find peace in this life
I ask myself where does lust come from
Is it something to yield to or be overcome
I ask myself
Why love can never touch my heart like fear does
Why can't love ever touch my heart like fear does?"

The The, "Bluer Than Midnight"

"She whispers while I'm sleeping
I love you when you smile
I didn't really lose you
I just lost you for a while"

Slowdive, "Dagger"

"I don't need a better thing
I'd settle for less
It's another thing for me
I just have to wander through this world alone."

Pete Yorn, "Lose You"

Why does my cat Ms. C ("Missy") insist on me standing by her bowl every morning to watch her eat? Her food is always out and I can hear her eating it before I get up in the morning. If I don't go over to the bowl, I am harassed all morning with caterwauls that would wake the dead. I have tried to break her of this habit by ignoring her, which essentially makes her turn up the volume exponentially. I have determined that the slight annoyance of walking over there is infinitely better than hearing her ugly tones all morning long.

The Oscars are like the Super Bowl to me. However, this year, I have almost no interest in it whatsoever. I have seen the majority of the best pic nominees, but have been dragging my feet on two of them and only have plans to see one of them prior to the ceremony. Slumdog Millionaire, to me, is one of the most overrated pictures I have ever seen. If it should win, it will not be remembered fondly in the future.

I think I will most likely be single the rest of my life. In a year of being single, I have been on many dates. Most of the men have been very nice and will probably make wonderful partners to someone, but for some reason there has been a disconnect with me and I barely make it to a second or third date. Dating seems appealing, but then a switch goes off and I find myself staring across the table at this person thinking about how much I'd rather be at home doing laundry.

I have been laid off for almost a year with no immediate prospect of a full time/permanent job on the horizon. I have been on the same consulting project for 7 months and it is paying my bills. I go through tremendous highs and lows, sometimes weekly, most times daily, even hourly at times. It is an odd feeling not being able to define yourself through a job. The job shouldn't define you; I mean it is just a means to pay for life's necessities. The reaction I get when I tell people I was laid off is often comical, as if I am telling them I have cancer. They look glum and spout off some cliched saying meant to inspire or console. I guess I am nervous about finding something else, but I've made it this far. There is nothing to say that I can't continue for awhile.

Appealing things:

Rain on my tin roof.

Fresh sheets with the scent of lavender and vanilla.

My cat purring while sitting on my chest.

A clean kitchen.

Avocados.

The Sunday New York Times; specifically the Book Review Section.

Online Scrabble.

Playing Hand and Foot (card game) with Darin, Tom and Jeff.

Piles of apples at the grocery store.

My neighbor playing piano on a Sunday afternoon.

The sound of shoes or tires on gravel.

Quiet.

Garden paths.

Cobblestone streets.

The beach in winter.

Unexpected daliances.

A hand caressing the small of the back.

Cherry coke.

Making baked ziti for my friend Howard.

Discovering a new author.

Scotch on a cold day.

Stephen Sondheim.

Marathons of America's Next Top Model.

No plans.

Odd lyrics.

Reading a book in bed before going to sleep.

Lemon zest.

The smell of new leather.

Dancing at the Eagle.

Annoying things:

My irritating co-worker who passive aggressively keeps shutting the office door even though we have no ventilation in here and it is 1000 degrees.

My neighbor who insists on slamming her front door at all hours of the day and night.

The woman at work who takes my parking space.

People who take the elevator up or down one floor. Get off your fat ass and take the stairs.

Not having universal health care.

Not being able to thread a bobbin.

People who can't figure out the self-checkout aisle at Kroger.

People who have not been laid off from their jobs complaining about their jobs. Shut up. You can complain when you have to pay $700 a month for your COBRA premium.

T-shirts at Target that are only sold in sizes M-XXL. Um, some of us wear S.

People who do not respond to specific questions in emails. I asked it for a reason. Answer it or tell me why you refuse to answer it.