Beyonce: 4

Beyonce
4
Rating: Tragicistani

A lot of people look at me like I am crazy when they find out I like Beyonce. People are equally perplexed when I tell them (sincerely) that I do like pop music. To me, a good song is a good song, regardless of genre. It only annoys me when pop music is bland, unimaginative, or just plain lazy. Beyonce's first two solo albums, while not perfect, were chock full of some great, sometimes brilliant, pop music. She has an uncanny ability to choose the right producers and songwriters and, while not being the most forward thinking in her sound, she generally incorporates more current trends easily into her songs. Recently, during the recording of 4 she has indicated she was influenced by the music of Fela Kuti and had been working with the band from a Broadway musical based on his life. Also, she was working with some very current producers like Diplo & Switch (of Major Lazer) and Derek Miller of Sleigh Bells, so my anticipation for the album was definitely increasing. First single, "Run The World (Girls)," produced by Diplo and Switch was a huge disappointment on hearing it. Instead of taking a fresh approach, they lazily took a sample from Major Lazer's "Pon De Floor" and let Beyonce skat all over it.



Only slightly better, and very slightly, is the other Diplo/Switch-produced track "End of Time" which at least boasts some more original percussion and horns, with Beyonce's voice taking on a Caribbean flavor.



The remainder of the album is filled with mostly ballads and mid-tempo numbers. There is no "Crazy In Love," "Ring The Alarm," or "Single Ladies" to get you to the dancefloor. Aside from Beyonce's voice, which is still impeccable, there is nothing much to recommend from 4. Ultimately, it is a turgid, slog of an album. Instead of feeling a sense of energy from her purported interest in Fela Kuti, the album feels like a bargain basement collection of off-Broadway tunes.

The only song I truly cared for is the Frank Ocean penned ballad "I Miss You," which borrows from the latest R&B trend of hushed, almost ambient electronic backing. Her voice begins so in control, and then later doubletracked with one voice in control, the other slowly losing it. It is a great track.



For me, at any rate, the rest of the album just drags down in murky, uninspired ballads, each sounding more and more Diane Warren-esque, until ultimately, there is actually a Diane Warren penned ballad, "I Was Here," which ironically is one of the better songs. "Best Thing I Never Had," comes across like any over-produced ballad from the late 80s.



"Love On Top" could have been recorded by Stevie Wonder during his abysmal "I Just Called To Say I Love You" phase.



And the mid-tempo tracks don't do anything to alleviate the torture. "Party (with Andree 2000)" is snicker-inducing, featuring some of the worst lyrics I have heard in awhile, and I was shocked to see that Kanye West was one of the 6 writers on the track. 6? Seriously? And musically, it sounds like a preset drum and bass line from a Casio keyboard. "Countdown" further suffers from a ridiculous set of lyrics, with Beyonce trying to get all ghetto on us.



4 is basically an unmitigated disaster. Aside from "I Miss You" there truly was not a song on here that I didn't skip over after awhile. Apparently, Beyonce recorded over 70+ songs for this record, and if these are the cream of the crop, I shudder at the thought of what the other songs sounded like. 4 is destined to be a huge hit though, the ballads are syrupy and bland enough to entice the majority of pop music listeners out there. I for one, will be deleting this pile of crap from my hard drive as soon as I publish this post.

Rating Guide

Chilfos: masterpiece; coolest thing I've heard in ages.

Woof Daddy: excellent; just a hair away from being a masterpiece.

Grrrr: very good; will definitely be considered for my top releases of the year.

Yeah Daddy Make Me Want It: good; definitely invites further listens and peaks one's interest for more material.

Meh: not horrible, but certainly not great; could have either been polished, trimmed, or re-thought.

Jeez Lady: what the hell happened? Just plain bad. They should hang their heads in shame and be forced to listen to Lady Gaga ad nauseam as penance.

Tragicistani: so bad, armed villagers with pitchforks and torches should run the artist out of the country for inflicting this abomination on the human race.