Lady Gaga: Born This Way

Lady Gaga
Born This Way
Rating: N/A

There really is no reason for me to give this album a grade. It is going to be monstrously successful regardless of whether I praise it to the heavens or damn it to hell. To be honest, I didn't even plan on reviewing it, because it is an album you are predisposed to either love or hate. And I do have a love/hate relationship with Gaga. I agree anyone that writes and performs their own music has a lot of talent, however, at the same time her talent appears to be primarily based on extracting bits and pieces from other artists and fashioning them to meet her own ends. Her constant attempts to one up herself with her outlandish videos and outfits are exhausting, and can be incongruous to the music they are supporting, seeing as her music is fairly uninteresting pop music sticking to a rigid formula. What seemed fresh back in 2008 with the release of "Just Dance" (which is actually a song I really enjoy), has become something rote and uninspired. After this long, drawn out wait for the follow up to The Fame/The Fame Monster, I guess I expected, and secretly hoped for, a progression in her sound. Listening to Born This Way is frustrating because I can see where she should have taken it, but instead the slight innovations always bump up against that rigid formula and get beaten down in the process.

"Judas" takes a hard edged, dubstep-esque bassline and drum pattern and creates one of her catchiest tracks, even though the weak chorus (aping "Bad Romance" a little too closely) threatens to derail the song.



"Heavy Metal Lover" builds slowly, growing into a throbbing disco pulse, actually bucking trend and exploding into a memorable chorus. It also features a fairly subdued vocal track, Gaga sticking to her mid range, which is her strong suit.

Lady Gaga - Heavy Metal Lover (alternate version) by beautynumber2

And despite a dated sounding crunch metal guitar, "Electric Chapel" is surprisingly catchy, milking its "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" repetitive beat to maximum effect. Again, Gaga's restrained vocal fits well with the mood of the track.

This restraint doesn't always work. "Bloody Mary" is a slight downturn, where the vocal actually works against the track. The plodding beat and simplistic keyboard melody cry for something slightly outre.



The rest of the tracks vary wildly in quality, from generic Gaga dance tracks to over-the-top, ridiculous messes. Lead single and title track "Born This Way" is definitely catchy, but it is far too reminiscent of Madonna's "Express Yourself," and the lyrics, which were written in ten minutes, are laughably simplistic.



"Scheiße" ruins its promising Euro-electro-trash beats by taking itself too seriously.



Which becomes a common problem throughout the album. Gaga creates this empowerment backstory that doesn't match up with the end product. Too many times her message is overpowered by ridiculous music or, vice versa, her backing is marred by silly lyrics. The wildly inconsistent tone of the record becomes exhausting.

"Bad Kids" thinks of itself as a crunchy, be-yourself anthem, which buries any alternativeness with standard, by-the-Gaga-books synth meanderings. "Americano" is as laughably bad as any one of Madonna's attempts at Latin music.

Lady Gaga - Americano by abel-germanotta-hrndz

"Hair" is one of the worst offenders, thinking itself a personal freedom anthem, and spewing forth so many cliches I lost track; believing that lyrics like "I'm as free as my hair," are the height of brilliance. Making matters worse are the stock disco beats and horrific 80s style sax solo.



Even though Born This Way wants to be an important record about self-worth and acceptance, ultimately, the point of view gets overshadowed by scattershot production and half-assed lyrics. What should have been a collection of related tracks merely comes across as a grab bag of songs, which unfortunately don't linger long in the memory. But it doesn't matter what I think. If you love Gaga, you love her, and will not be swayed by my protestations. So enjoy your time with this album, because in my opinion, based on the lack of forward momentum it creates, I am not expecting there to be a long shelf life on her career, unless she surprises us next time.

And hell, who am I kidding, of course I am going to rate it, and it is a definite Meh.

Rating Guide

Chilfos: masterpiece; coolest thing I've heard in ages.

Woof Daddy: excellent; just a hair away from being a masterpiece.

Grrrr: very good; will definitely be considered for my top releases of the year.

Yeah Daddy Make Me Want It: good; definitely invites further listens and peaks one's interest for more material.

Meh: not horrible, but certainly not great; could have either been polished, trimmed, or re-thought.

Jeez Lady: what the hell happened? Just plain bad. They should hang their heads in shame and be forced to listen to Lady Gaga ad nauseam as penance.

Tragicistani: so bad, armed villagers with pitchforks and torches should run the artist out of the country for inflicting this abomination on the human race.